


It Means Nothing

by SubmissiveKylo (prancing_queen)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prancing_queen/pseuds/SubmissiveKylo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel reveals himself just a little too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Means Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Authors notes: Okay, it's just a little something that's played on my mind for a while and I really hope I can give life to these musings. It's a Gabriel/Sam reunion with a difference...

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when it was time. Always had been hard for Gabriel. The quick passage of life on Earth made it difficult to predict exactly how and when it would be time for one to pass over.

Frankly it was also an event that didn't exactly fill him with cheer, so he tended to avoid the moment when a heart finally stopped beating, and the light of life left one's once bright eyes. The wails of grief didn't exactly help with the whole picture either, so he tended to shy away from it, pretend it didn't happen.

Except, now it was happening, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

Could only watch as time claimed the only mortal he'd ever cared enough about to stay with. Not that the man in question even knew that at this point.

Life hadn't exactly been kind to the younger Winchester, and even in death, that was no exception.

Frail and emancipated, his skin lacking all vitality that had been gifted to him in his youth. Each breath he took was short and laboured, his eyes rolling about his head, seeing everything, but taking nothing in. His mouth moved soundlessly, forming words that were too low for even Gabriel to pick up.  
Pink tongue darting out every so often to wet his parchment coloured lips with a dry rasp of breath, and it was only when the archangel leant in close, that he realized what Sam was doing.

Praying.

It was then that he knew.

His hunter was on his last stretch of open road and it was time for him to show his hand.

With a gentle sigh, Gabriel phased into view, settled into the terry cloth armchair that sat next to Sam's bedside.

It took several agonizing moments for Sam to even realize Gabriel was there, and when he did, the reaction hadn't exactly been what Gabriel had been hoping for.

Instead of watching a flicker of recognition and joy blossom on the hunters face, he was greeted with a single tear rolling down Sam's weathered cheek. His bony fingers clutching at the bedsheets as the pain of losing Gabriel washed through him all over again.

"You... You're dead. You left me." He rasped, the effort of speaking causing him to sink further into his mattress with short, strained gasps.

Shaking his head, Gabriel leant forward, stretching his hand out and brushing away the stray tears from Sam's cheek with the pad of his thumb, the hunter unconsciously leaning into his gentle touch.  
"No Sam. I didn't leave you," he murmured, with a sad smile, dropping his hand to clasp the dying mans between his own, leaning in closer to whisper, "I was always with you. I never left."

Waves of grief and betrayal washed through the older man, along with the more painful sensation of complete joy at seeing the angel alive, here, holding him tightly as he drew in what was likely his last few breaths. Weakly, he squeezed Gabriel's hand, the smaller man climbing onto the narrow bedframe to hold Sam close to his chest.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, planting a soft kiss atop the mop of silver hair before him.

"I was always with you Sammy, you couldn't see me. But I was here, protecting you, like I should have done from the very beginning."

His gentle murmurings were met with a wet snuffling sound and a distinct dampness on his collar, guilt washing through the archangel as he wound his arms around the frail man, momentarily startled by his bony, almost bird-like structure.

There was no dignity in death, and it was a simple fact that pierced Gabriel's heart, causing him to fold his arms ever tighter around his hunter, continuously murmuring his apologies into Sam's hair as grief washed through him. If only he hadn't stayed away. Sam could have grown old happy, loved. Instead, he lay broken, in this ratty bed, alone save for the angel that had deceived him for most of his life.

He didn't deserve it, with everything he'd suffered through during his life, he deserved to die a kings death, not like this.

"I was with you through everything Sammy," he murmured gently, "when Bobby passed, I was there, stayed with you throughout the night. Closed your eyes in sleep when I saw you get into those moods where you'd drink yourself stupid. I couldn't force myself to leave. Or show myself to you. Father how I wanted to. I was going to, you know, the moment I came back. But then I saw you. With your brother, and I held back, wanted to do it privately... Yet as time passed, it got harder and harder to do so. I watched you grieve, and it... Hurt. To watch you, in so much pain. But I still couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so frightened of your rejection. Frightened of hurting you even more than I already had... And I see you now, and I wish I could take it all back. I wish that I'd shown myself to you that first night I watched you cry silently in the dark, your brother sound asleep in the bed opposite, completely unaware of your agony. Wish I'd slipped in beside you and folded you up into my arms like so, hushed your tears and stayed with you, forever and always. My love." He fell silent for a few moments, Sam's fingers clenching and unclenching in his shirt as his slight frame was wracked by silent sobs, his breathing ragged as his time drew nearer.

"G-Gabriel." He whispered, the angel immediately tightening his arms around the frail man and hushing him gently. The stubborn hunter carrying on nonetheless.

"I... I wish you'd... I wish..." He trailed off as a fit of coughing tore through his body, Gabriel rubbing soothing circles over his back, "You wish...?" he prompted gently.

"I wish it wasn't this way... I wish I could have had the time to love you, to grow old with you, instead of... Instead of like this." Sam breathed, his eyes falling shut as exhaustion washed through his limbs, his fingers falling limp against Gabriel's chest, lips twitching slightly as he felt the angels heartbeat resound through his fingertips.

"It wasn't fair of you to... To do this to me. My life had no meaning when you... When you passed. Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't have you... But... I forgive you." He gasped, Gabriel's eyes widening slightly as the last ebbs of colour drained from his face. Pressing his palm desperately to the hunters cheek.

"I don't want you to go, Sam. I don't want you to die." He whispered, tears springing to his eyes as Sam lifted his hand to trace his fingers over the angels face. Gabriel grasping it tightly and kissing his palm and fingers before pressing it to his cheek as a tear slipped unbidden down his face.

"You always did have the most beautiful eyes." Sam breathed, almost dreamily, his fingers curling gently against Gabriel's smooth skin. "Like whiskey, shot through with sunshine. Beautiful. Just like you." He murmured.

"I'm glad I got... To see them once last time." he gasped, his eyes slipping shut with a soft curse, the tears streaming silently down Gabriel's face as he desperately clung to Sam's hand, kissing his knuckles almost tenderly.

"I-I'm so tired, Gabriel." He slurred, shifting slightly to rest his forehead against Gabriel's collar.

"Go to sleep, love." Gabriel whispered, drawing the dying man closer to him. "I'll be here when you wake. I promise. I'll never leave you again."

"I- Alright," he mumbled weakly, Gabriel straining to hear him, "I love you, you know."

A small, sad smile tugged at the angels lips as he nuzzled the top of his head, "I know Sammy. I love you too. Always have. Always will."

Sam's lips curved upwards in a content smile, his eyes slipping closed as he drew in a short breath, a mask of peace slipping over his face as his final breath hung in the air.

Choked sobs ripped through Gabriel's body as he held the dead man to his chest, gently rocking him back and forth as small whimpers fell from his lips, pain he'd never felt before ripping through his body. His fingers gently worked through Sam's silver locks as his grace shattered inside him.

Finally he understood why the humans were so upset when a loved one passed. And for Gabriel, that was the hardest lesson of all.


End file.
